Pals and Prossies

Evening all, greetings from home.

I've had a wonderful couple of days but very hectic, to put it mildly. On Thursday night I went to meet two very dear friends for dinner and I think we finally toppled over at about 3.30am, gibbering quietly. It was fantastic, we laughed like demented donkeys and talked about everything, from the state of the new coalition to the crucial issue of salad cream versus mayonnaise.

Friday saw the first meeting of the GPS, ( Glasgow Prossie's Society, obviously ). Susan, Hannah, myself and a new lady called Faye met for lunch and it was fantastic. I have always been a firm believer in networking and getting to know other ladies because I believe that the industry can be a very lonely and isolating place if you don't have someone you can confide in, even if it's just to say - "Urgh, I was so looking forward to that appointment but Shrek opened the door". Some of our other members such as Caitlin and Casey were away, but we have decided to make Amanda a member by proxy. She's not Glasgow based obviously, but she behaves like The Barras finest on tour, so that's good enough for us. ( She's going to murder me for that ).

Back to the new lady, she came to me via the buddy scheme and has just launched her site, there's a link to it here ;

www.fayeglasgow.co.uk

Err, do you think someone on high is trying to tell me something ? That's the second lady I've buddied who is blonde, slim and gorgeous. Grrr. Anyway, Faye and Hannah are off to Heathrow on their first tour together this week, so all the very best ladies, 'ave it large and enjoy yourselves. :)

Finally, the appointment has come through; mammogram on the 13th followed by an appointment with a consultant on the 15th. I'm not scared, not at all. A big strapping lassie like myself ?

I'm petrified.

LL xx

Schooling, socials and smashing times

I think I'm turning into my Mother. Not the nauseatingly annoying bit, but I hear myself say things and it's like turning the wheels of time backwards 25 years.

Such gems as ;

"I'll give you a real reason to cry in a minute".

or

"Don't come crying to me when you've been knocked from your bike and killed because you wouldn't wear the reflective arm bands."

If some kind soul could email me a link to the current suggested school curriculum I'd be very grateful because I think the education system has a lot to answer for. Take last week for example. I committed the horrid atrocity of actually asking my little treasure to tidy her room unaided, since I had already brought the cleaning equivalent of a JCB through it twice. Cue an unmerciful row which culminated in tiny hands being applied firmly to hips and then the clincher ;

"I may be small but I have a voice and I deserve to be heard."

Well, suffice to say that the only voice to be heard in the immediate aftermath was mine, at a pitch and a volume that had my kitties diving for cover in the broom cupboard.

*sigh*

Last Thursday I thoroughly enjoyed an overnight with Mr F, we had food to die for and he bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for Christmas. It just goes to show how much I trust him, one of the earrings went straight through but the other ear has semi healed over. So I took a large mouthful of wine ;

"Right, just do it."

"Are you sure ?"

"Aye".

Many howls later and we still couldn't manage it so I need to get that one pierced again. Oh joy. Anyway, the next day we were both attending a social lunch which was superb. Beautiful food and the best of craic. Big Rick was there too and I think he was a little nervous as it was his first social but as it was a daytime meet it was relatively civilised, the next one will be a haze of doubles, hehe. The last time I was in Aberdeen Rick gave me a pressie and I've attached a picture. It's a name badge which says " Laura Lee, 5* Tour Guide ". How cool is that ? I wore it with pride at the social and will do so at future events too. :)

From the social I sprinted home, did a handstand in the shower and set off to meet Mr A for the weekend. I have long made it my mission to put the "f" back into sex, by which I mean fun. Why does it have to be so goddamn serious ? Some people approach bedroom olympics like a military operation. The second part of that mission is to bring a sense of perspective back into "Senior Management" types. I have very happy memories of perching on an armchair in Glasgow one night with my client seated at my feet. He was using management speak and waxing lyrical about the expenditure for his latest project, so I kicked him over.

"Oh my God, did you just kick me over ?"

"I did, yep."

"No-one has dared to give me cheek for years, let alone kick me. Thank you."

So back to Mr A. We were enjoying champagne and strawberries when he started to wind me up. ( He does it very well. ) The closest thing to hand was a large scatter cushion so it was duly fired in his general direction, but missed, and instead took out several glass tumblers. Now, most people would have stopped there but for all his management training he has obviously glossed over the chapter on "When to concede defeat," and so it went on until neither of us had any energy left.

It was a wonderful weekend which we both thoroughly enjoyed. :)

This week sees me heading off to Dundee on Wednesday and Thursday before landing in Edinburgh on Friday. I shall speak to you from there.

LL xx

Strawberries, champagne and handcuffs

Afternoon all, I've just crawled in from my overnight and am sitting here grinning from ear to ear. What a night we had. I arrived at the hotel to be treated to ice cold champagne and strawberries dipped in chocolate, YUM. On the side table was a beautiful bouquet of roses and lillies ( pic attached ) and my apartment now smells divine.

Dinner was excellent and by the time we had polished off the wine and the Irish coffees I flashed my guy a devilish grin and he just knew he was in trouble. What is it about powerful men that attracts them to subservience ? Is it because it's the antithesis to their daily lives ?

I looked at him when we had got back to the room and asked "Do you trust me ?" He considered his reply for a while before his response "Yes, you know I do". WRONG answer. Before he could blink I had him flat out on the floor and handcuffed to the side rail of the bed.

Me : "Who's in control now, huh ?"
Him : "Laura, put the keys down, you're making me nervous".
Me: "If I swallowed them, how long do you think it would take them to reappear?"
Him : "Laura, that's not even remotely amusing. Let me out".
Me : "I'm thinking about it. How would it be if I sent an email to your superiors with a pic saying
'Hey guys, shouldn't you review your security procedures ? I mean here's a man who takes an hour to get through airport clearance, and yet I've got him handcuffed in a Glasgow hotel".
Him: "Laura, I'm warning you......"

I'm guessing a five foot nine woman in thigh high pvc boots standing over a prostrate male is quite a sight at the best of times, never mind when said male is completely and utterly helpless.

I let him out eventually, and put him out of his misery in more ways than one. He's not really that cross with me, he can't be, we're due to meet again in two weeks. :)

...and I wouldn't really send an email to his bosses....... well not unless he REALLY annoys me, hehe. Whipped cream and a WPC's uniform anyone ? It'd make a good pic, doncha think ? ;)

All jokes aside I would never kiss and tell, and discretion is paramount for me and my guys. "Ladies" who sell their stories to the gutter press give the rest of us a bad name.

There endeth my Sunday sermon.