Thursday, 28 April 2011

Legalities, Log Cabins and London

Good evening from LL towers, I've sat down to blog four times over the last couple of days and every time I did, something cropped up. That's life I guess. Before I bore you with what I've been up to I want to draw your attention to a couple of posts by Stephen Paterson, on the transition of Government funding from Eaves/Poppy to The Salvation Army, who now have the enormous task of "saving" us. Stephen writes brilliantly, in a very informed and clear manner.

There are interesting times ahead for us in Scotland too as this quote from Scot-PEP shows ;

"It was confirmed to us at Scot-PEP last week, by one of the leading abolitionists, that the intention to press ahead with the criminalisation of the purchase and sale of sex will continue in the new Parliament. With Ms. Godman’s retiral, it is not clear who will take that job on. However, we were told that it will be someone experienced and that “it” (presumably the criminalisation) “should not be a problem”.

Oh really ? We'll just see about that - I don't think many people appreciate parliamentary representatives trying to get a law passed by the back door and without a proper consultation process in situ. As usual the abolitionists under estimate the level of support that there is for clear and rational thinking, it promises to be one hell of a fight.

"I'll fight till from my bones my flesh be hacked" - one of my favourite quotes from The Scottish Play and rather apt given the promise of a fresh assault.

Speaking of assaults, last week J and I took off to the East Coast for a six day break. It was idyllic, with the sun beating down on us. In fact one of the highlights for me was when we fed some lambs their bottle, my God but they are hungry critters, I had a moment of empathy for Mother sheep everywhere. They have a vice like grip, that's all I'm saying ... ( with a wince ).

I think it's fair to say that in the normal course of events, if anyone had woken me at 8.45am to announce cheerily that we were going hill walking, there would have been a loaded silence followed by the application of an ice pack to a swollen jaw. However, circumstances being as they were, I smiled sweetly and headed for the shower. ( Apart from anything else, I was biding my time because I knew we had a fairly hefty dom session planned, heh heh. )

In a subsequent public service announcement, J extolled his virtues as a former boy scout, so with my mis-placed trust placed in his compass and map we set off. It wasn't long before we established that we were well and truly lost and the sun was heating up on a par with my temper. To cap it all, came this little beauty -

"We are not lost. As a former boy scout I can tell you there is no such thing as lost, just a constant reassessment of our position".

He does it on purpose you see, wind me up I mean. He enjoys watching the steam emanate from my ears and by the time we got to the bottom of the hill again we were knotting ourselves laughing. The break was complete with a visit to Glamis Castle and some quad biking too, it was tremendous fun and he has very kindly written me a review here ;

Tomorrow ( and against my better judgement ) I have agreed to look after two little darlings as well as my own, and I can't forsee that the Royal wedding will be sufficient entertainment for them. Tough, I want to see what the frock looks like. ( It's a girl thing ). I'll buy them off with a McDonalds - works every time.

On Saturday I'm off on my travels again, this time to the Highlands for a week, to a log cabin by a lake, fantastic. When I get back I have some time in Glasgow and then I'm off to London. I will be there on the 18th, 19th and 20th of May with Susan and the delectable Ellie Lloyd too, so if you'd like to arrange a lunchtime sandwich with a definite bite, do drop me a line. ;)

Enjoy the beautiful weather and I'll catch up with you when I get back from 'oop North.

LL xx

Monday, 18 April 2011

Magnanti and Mentoring

Good evening, greetings from home, where I'm fighting for space on the sofa with my furries.

First of all, I want to apologise most sincerely for the sudden cessation of my Inverness tour, I had a phone call from home and had to sprint down the A9 and as such I haven't been available since then. As I'm away from tomorrow for six days I won't be available in Glasgow until April 24th. I felt dreadful leaving Susan on her lonesome but it really couldn't be helped, so to those guys I had to cancel at the last minute, my apologies and I will see you in June.


Dr. Magnanti ( aka Belle ) recently did an interview where she addressed " third wave feminism " and answered her feminist critics. In the comments afterwards high levels of vitriol and hatred ensued, with the usual suspects out in force. The link is here ;

The bit that interested me was this ;

"I spend about half of my email time every day discouraging people clearly unsuited to the job from doing it. I'd be interested to know how many of my critics have actually successfully talked anyone out of sex work, because I do it all the damn time."

Hmmm, I can identify with that. Some time ago a lady contacted me and expressed an interest in becoming an escort. We chatted on the phone and she seemed to be brimming with enthusiasm, so I arranged to meet her for coffee.

"I mean, obviously I would have to fancy them".

Oh dear.

"Ok, see that man over there with the long beard, nervous tick and unfortunate nasal excavation habit ? Can you see yourself rolling around with him with an hour ?"

Suffice to say that by the time we had finished coffee she was reconsidering her career.

It's not that I don't like my job, I love it, but it takes a certain type of person to do it and to be successful at it too. It's only fair that I make it abundantly clear that not all clients look like Richard Gere ( or even Hugh Grant for that matter ) and that even the most polished professionals can have a shitty attitude or halitosis. ( Special mention must go to the labia biters and those who think it's erotic to lick your cheek. ) Escorting can be a fabulous career for the right lady, but they must be aware of the potential pitfalls such as secrecy and lies, the possibility of being outed and of course stigma and social isolation.

On a more positive note, another lady has made it through all the jumps and hurdles that is the Grand National of becoming an escort and has launched her site. ( Another slim blonde, seriously ? Someone on high is having a laugh ).

She is Glasgow based and is already lining her diary with appointments and so she should be, I think she'll be a fabulous escort. Here's her website ;

Meanwhile, I'm off to get packed, J and I are off to the East Coast tomorrow for six days of fun and frolics with plans including a secluded forest and a picnic with a difference. ;)

I'll catch up with you when I get back.

LL xx

Friday, 8 April 2011

Tarts and Tadpoles

Good evening and greetings from LL towers ( new edition ) where I have finally come down to earth after a nerve destroying house move.

Before I start waxing lyrical about that, I wanted to draw your attention to a recent interview Krystal Champagne did for the TV - I thought she came across brilliantly, she's a very brave lady to speak out as she did. One of my favourite parts was where she said that true degradation is when you take away the choices of women, one of those choices being to enter the sex industry. Well said that lady.

The link is here ;

Another link for you - the rather brilliant Dr. Brooke Magnanti has begun a new blog, looking at the statistics and issues surrounding sex work from a scientist's point of view. It promises to be excellent reading and the link is here ;

I will certainly follow that with interest.

In the meantime, on the 31st of March I moved house. I am noting the date because on the 1st of April I had to catch a flight to Bristol at 7am. Brilliant.
( Not )

I have no idea where all of the "stuff" came from, there seemed to be an endless line of boxes and bags. Actually, most of it can be attributed to l'enfant terrible who has developed a penchant for hoarding. I've told her that if she's not careful she'll end up on "A life of Grime", but to no avail. Her most prized possession came with us too, her collection of tadpoles. ( More on that later ).

Anyway I flew to Bristol, praying that if I'm ever going to be outed it wouldn't be that day, because far from stepping off the plane as a glamorous, non-plussed escort, I'm sure I managed to make small children cry and adults recoil in horror as I waited for my case. My long suffering and very good friend BBW Claire came to the rescue, she picked me up from the airport and took me to her abode where I could have a snooze and a shower before heading off into the night, finally in a gown and full make-up. ( One has standards, you know. )

The next day was a social event, it was Amanda's birthday too. I won't go into too much detail about her birthday cake etc. as it has been covered admirably by Claire in her blog -

There was quite a group of us and much hilarity ensued - it was wonderful to see Danish Pia again, I haven't seen that lady since 2008. What Claire didn't mention in her blog though, is that the kitchen of the restaurant where we were quickly caught onto the fact that we were a group of rather naughty people, not because of our behaviour but because one of our members merrily informed them that they could feel free to make a show of Amanda, no barriers. Above then, is the creation presented to us by the Head Chef which he "whipped up" whilst we were waiting for the cake. ( Naughty Italian Chef, I almost ended his shift early by taking him in a headlock to a taxi. )

I flew home the following day to absolute mayhem, little princess and boxes everywhere. *sigh*

Her prized collection of tadpoles had found it's way onto the mantelpiece, contained as they were in a Wall's ice-cream tub. ( For what it's worth, I hate animals out of their natural environ, which is why I hate Zoo's, I remember going to Edinburgh Zoo and being deeply depressed by the polar bear who was clearly not well, rocking back and forth. She has since been re-homed in the Highlands. )

Girl cat, on the other hand, welcomed our new edition with open paws. To her, it was like "Whack a Mole" on Brighton Pier. Simply insert your paw, bash a tadpole on the head and repeat ad nauseum, until you're bored or all of the tadpoles have migrated to the bottom of the tub in the fervent hope that said cat will bog off.

Not to be outdone, girl cat came up with a cunning plan. Tonight I came home to what can only be described as tadpole carnage. She got fed up with the "waiting for them to come to the surface" thing and knocked the entire tub to the floor. I'm not sure if you've ever had the experience of trying to pick up tadpoles from a very slippy laminate floor but I promise you, it's not fun. The population of our tadpoles went from approx. 237 to 9 in one swoop of a paw.


As an animal lover, I should be gutted. The truth though, is amongst the mayhem of boxes of "favourite" headless dolls and games missing most of their pieces, the very last thing I needed was some adolescent amphibians boinging around. I know, I'm horrible. The good news is that tomorrow the gutsy survivors are being re-homed in the pond two doors down and not a minute before time, they have just started to develop their back legs and for a cat, once they've matured sufficiently, I'm sure that represents a challenge akin to pacman. Not in my house it doesn't.

With a deep sigh, I'm off to contemplate why I have developed such a crush on John Bishop ( Liverpudlian comedian ). There's nowt queerer than folk.

LL xx