Thursday, 28 October 2010

A time for honesty .....

Good evening and greetings from Inverness where Spandex Susan and I have arrived
having sailed up the A9 belting out some hits from my new "Celine Dion's Greatest Hits" album. Amongst her many talents, Susan is a karaoke queen so we enjoy a joint warble as the mood takes us, caring not a jot for the bemused looks from fellow motorists.

Halloween is almost upon us and the annual search for my little darling's costume gets more difficult with every passing year. It was so easy when she was two and I could stuff her into a pumpkin costume. Everyone thought she was adorable, gave her some sweets that I wouldn't allow her in a blind fit and it was "fait accompli" until the following year. But not this year, oh no.

" I want to be Cheryl Cole."

"Um, she's not very scary though, is she ?"

"Derrr, dead Cheryl Cole obviously."

Right. Why couldn't she be a feckin' witch like every other little girl ? I could have wept. So we set off on yet another shopping trip ( reason number 3,417 why I'm glad I'm an escort ) and at some point along the way we managed to gain another little princess who had been furnished with cash from her grateful ( if not cleverer than I ) parents whose daughter wanted to be a dead cheerleader. Great.

I was browsing the make-up whilst the girls tore the shop apart looking for their elusive costumes when I heard it. It's a sentence I always knew would come up, and I always thought I'd be prepared.

Princess of Other Parents : "I love dressing up, don't you ?"

My little cub : "Oooh, me too. You should see the clothes my Mum has, my Mum is Laura Lee."

After I picked myself up from the shop floor I realised I needed to break up that conversation, and quickly.


Squeals of delight followed and after I had dropped the other little lady off, I sat down with mini-me.

"We need to talk".

There has always been a moral dilemma for me in what I do, in that I love my job but I am acutely aware of the prejudice and stigma that exists and the way children can behave towards each other. For that reason, prior to that moment, I had never told my mini teenager what I do.

On the other hand, I am an activist for sex worker's rights. I advocate the decriminalisation of my job so that in time, society will become more accepting of us as individuals and also as a group. So hiding it from my daughter makes me a hypocrite and hypocrisy doesn't sit well with me, AT ALL.

I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of it but suffice to say my daughter now knows -

- that I would never lie to her unless I absolutely had to and it was for her own protection, although she knew that already.

- that I am an escort and I provide companionship for men, ( bear in mind she is still of the opinion that sex is appalling, long may that last. )

- that some people find what I do morally reprehensible and in fact despise me for it.

- that I would never do something which I consider to be morally wrong, ergo my choice of profession.

- that my profession is the reason we had to leave our last home town, so it's not that I'm ashamed of what I do, but it's probably best if we don't blast it around at the next parent-teacher meeting.

In time, and as she gets older, she'll come to understand fully what the term "escort" means. I'll deal with that as it comes. For now, I'm so proud of her I could burst.

“Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself.”

LL xx

Friday, 22 October 2010

A letter to Margo MacDonald

Dear Ms. MacDonald,

Firstly let me apologise for not being able to meet you in person. It would have been a privilege but unfortunately on the date of the meeting I will be away with a long-standing client in The Highlands.

I would like to take this opportunity to point out the downsides to being a sex worker in Scotland. The law as it stands is nonsensical in my view. One lady working from an apartment is permitted whilst if two ladies work from that apartment ( for mutual security and support ) it is considered a brothel.

Historically, sex workers have been easy targets for psychopaths because we have been isolated from the main body of society through -

A ) our enforced working practices, working in a clandestine fashion; and

B ) the stigma we encounter through our career choice and ;

C) the fact that we are seen as easy targets, unlikely to report any attacks to the police.

I find it incredible that the law as it stands places sex workers in such appalling danger. I frequently work from various apartments and hotels and am so discreet that I have never had an issue, I do not cause "anti-social" behaviours or draw attention to myself in any way.

I fail to understand why the law as it stands persecutes adults who indulge in paid for consensual sex.

I also fail to understand why there are such glaring differences in the different regions of Scotland, at the moment it would seem that the law is being applied very differently depending on where you are. In Edinburgh, there has always been a level of tolerance which is to be applauded, the parlours that operate there have done so for many years and as I understand it, pay an annual licence fee to Edinburgh City Council. Far from interfering in the day to day running of parlours, I am told that the police will visit the parlours on a regular basis and check that the girls are there of their own volition and quite happy in their work. That is the way it should be.

Conversely in Glasgow, at the moment parlours are being shut down en masse and the police have been raiding various "working flats". Why is there such a stark contrast ?

There is no doubt that is there is an issue with trafficking in Scotland as there is throughout the UK but those who oppose prostitution have a history of grossly inflating already unreliable statistics to suit their own agenda. The solution is not to further criminalise the sex trade but rather to decriminalise and regulate it, so that those who seek to circumvent the law can be more easily apprehended, after all they have to advertise somewhere. As it stands I can purchase a newspaper with the numbers for any and all of the local working flats therein, if there is another attempt to prohibit advertising such as the previous suggestion tabled by Trish Godman then the whole industry will be driven further underground. At that point, I believe, the real "nasties" will appear, offering "protection" for ladies.

The sex industry is never simply going to go away, no matter how Ann Hamilton would have us believe that "reducing demand" is the solution. It is simply not possible to reduce demand for sexual services, what we should be looking at doing instead is reducing harm to the many sex workers in the UK, caused in the main by shoddy legislation.

Finally, why is it acceptable to have a record of a woman as a "known prostitute" when it comes to applying for jobs and completing a "disclosure Scotland" check ? I don't see any other legal occupation being recorded in such a manner.

Please feel free to contact me should you wish to discuss any of the points I have raised, I would be delighted to speak to you.

Yours sincerely,

Laura Lee

Friday, 15 October 2010

The Whore with more

Yep, that's me.

One of the first things I say to a new lady becoming an escort is -

"The most important attributes are a good sense of humour, the patience of a saint and an open mind."

Since I've come back to the helm I've met some lovely guys but my fondest memories will always be the more "quirky" bookings.

One of my all time faves was a former champion wrestler, ( when I say champion, it was at regional level and many years ago ). He began the appointment by flinging me on the bed and pinning my legs behind my head. This was so he could pleasure me with his tongue, apparently. The fact that I had no sensation from the waist down at that juncture was by the by.

Eventually, my legs were released and he began to gently tease me into a state of erotic arousal by plummeting his tongue in the general direction of my middle ear. Divine.

The final act of immeasurable passion was the kiss, ( wrestlers do everything in reverse, you know ). If I had to describe it, I would say it was akin to the dying breaths of a deeply distressed goldfish, flapping about on a pavement, combined with the odd sharp nip with his incisors to my top lip. I tried, I REALLY tried to kiss him back but there was no rhythm or sense to it all and by the time I had caught up with him he was busy slowly suffocating me by placing his mouth over my entire nose.

It's at times like that that the phrase - " I never did mind about the little things" comes in very useful. A relaxing post coital cuddle later, he left with a smile firmly plastered across his face whilst I headed for the bathroom in search of some "deep heat".

LL xx

Addendum : He was one of the loveliest men I have ever met, and the woman who settles down with him with be very lucky, she just needs to hold him by the ears and teach him how to kiss.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

On the road again and Orangutans

Good afternoon, having been purple, then blue, green and finally a very fetching shade of autumnal yellow, I'm back. I cannot begin to tell you how good it feels to be going back on tour tomorrow, I thought I was going to go stir crazy at home. ( Amanda suggested a live feed but I told her quite bluntly what she could do with that idea. ) It was quite something when the dressings came off, suffice to say that I don't know what I'd do without the wonderful support of my family and friends.

I used the time wisely and caught up with some studying, lots of sleep and finally finished off the piece I was doing with a journalist in Edinburgh. She wanted to do a "day in the life" of an escort and I wanted to talk about the nonsensical legislation, so we met half-way, although I haven't seen the finished article yet.

I mentioned before I went off that there was an article in the Daily Mail which raised my hackles, ( quelle surprise ). There's a link to the article here ;

I did compose a response but it never appeared, humph. Happily, a gentleman who reads my blog sent me an email in response and I have his permission to share some of the content with you ;

Like you I was disappointed at Melanie Phillips column in the Daily Mail(which I do normally read- tune out the worst of the rabble-rousing and it’s a good read). Like so many commentators who pontificate on the subject she apparently sees nothing wrong in being very selective in what aspects she selects to support her arguments while disregarding vast swathes of information that doesn’t suit her purposes.

For a start I’m baffled how on earth she can claim that Chloe from the X-Factor is glamorising prostitution- class and glamour are not the first words that come to mind when I see a photo of her! As for banning her from the programme, something that no-one(either for or against) that I saw mentioned in that debate was how Simon Cowell could have prohibited her from working while appearing on the X-Factor given that prostitution isn’t illegal. Would have been an interesting case if she’d taken him to court for attempting to restrict her earnings. Although I think it unlikely that she was declaring her income to HMRC...though they’ll be taking an interest now!

Like so many writers on the subject Phillips has picked out examples of escorts from the media that her readers will be familiar with, while using the figures about street workers drug habits, pimps and being victims of violence to reinforce the poor image of sex industry workers.

She claims that one of the problems with prostitution is that “it treats the female body with at best indifference and at worst contempt.” I accept that my experiences and my mentality about it won’t be the same as all punters, but I certainly wasn’t indifferent or contemptuous about the ladies I met(I defy any man to be indifferent when alone in the boudoir with Dollymopp...), and I hope they felt the same. I like to think that attentive and pleased would be better descriptors.

It’s been mentioned before how these ardent feminists rabidly shoot down any comments or arguments that don’t agree with their viewpoint- “you’re involved so you don’t know what’s best for you”, “as a man who buys women you’re biased” or “you’re a man so you can’t comment on this” for example(the latter 2 I’ve had thrown at me when I’ve commented on various stories. And no, I don’t buy women, they’re kind enough to allow me to spend some time with them), Surely feminism started because women wanted to make their own mind up about what they want to do and how they do it? Rather than as we have now, being told by other women(as opposed to men) what they can do.

Phillips also writes that it’s terrible how morals are changing so that things that were previously frowned upon such as prostitution, having kids out-with marriage or homosexuality are now being accepted. I find this interesting in a paper that also rails(rightly in my opinion) against current day politicians issuing grovelling apologies for slavery, Empire etc on the basis that standards, morals, call them what you will, have changed over the last two hundred years and so can’t be judged as immoral by us now from our different standpoint. Things change, and by not accepting that we hold ourselves back.

One of the final lines from Phillips, which I feel sums up both her article and modern aggressive feminism was “these early feminist warriors all agreed prostitution was a form of slavery.” Then as now, nobody seems to have asked the ladies themselves what they thought...

Very well said Sir, and thank you for your kind best wishes too. :)

While I'm at it, thank you to everyone who has sent me get well wishes, I really was and am very touched. I now have enough Thornton's chocolate to open a small wholesalers, but am down to the coffee ones that no-one likes, although girl cat licked a couple of them, ( we were recovering on the sofa together). I really must review hygiene standards in this abode of mine.

Tomorrow I'm off to Carlisle with Spandex Susan ( her new title ). After that it's Belfast and then up to Inverness with Amanda too, I cannot wait to be with the girls again, I've missed them so much it's unreal, although of course I will deny that vehemently. ;) A card arrived this morning from Bristol BBWClaire with a very rude key-ring therein, it had me howling with laughter, nutty woman. Thank you.

Ok I'm off to pack my frillies and commence the longest beauty session in history, so that I begin to resemble a woman again as opposed to an orangutan.

LL xx

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Pussycats and Painters

Afternoon all, whilst I was in Newcastle, Susan and I wandered around some shops and I bought a new book to read whilst I'm resting up over the next couple of weeks -

"Women who kill", by Vanessa Howard.

- quite fitting really for my mood at the end of a tortuous week.

Girl cat went to the vets this week to be neutered and came back very much the worse for wear, in fact it's fair to say I have never felt so sorry for a little creature in my life. She was stumbling around being sick repeatedly and to make matters worse, boy cat took great exception to her, presumably because she smelled of the vets. Oh joy. Much of the next couple of days were spent on kitty patrol trying to stop him hissing and growling at her, although as Godawful as she felt, she hissed right back at him, she's a gutsy wee lady - one of the reasons I love her to pieces.

It was with a heavy heart that I hit the road with the girlies for the last tour before my time off.

We arrived in Newcastle and were rather excited because we had booked a new hotel which looked great on the net ( our usual was fully booked ). We walked into reception and my first thought was "Oh s*%t". It was Deadsville, Tennessee, population = two very nosey receptionists who were growling at us over their screens. ( We had obviously interrupted their quality time on Facebook. )

Not to be deterred, we booked in and headed off to our rooms, the whole place was undergoing renovation and as I stepped out onto my floor I was met by two grinning Geordies, resplendant in white overalls and a dazzling array of tattoos.


Good grief.

They were right outside where my gentlemen callers would have to come out of the lift to get to my room. I could have wept. Not only that, but it was the first hotel I have ever stayed in where the chamber maids are still cleaning rooms at 4pm !?! They were cheerful souls though, cracking "funny" jokes amongst themselves and singing along to their portable radio with gusto. I happened to be passing on my way to breakfast whilst one of them was singing along to "Careless Whisper". He was making a pretty good job of it too, falsetto if you don't mind. I tutted loudly - "How gay".

You can just imagine the response I got to that, to insinuate a Newcastle man is anything approaching "soft" is to take your life in your hands. The lift doors closed in the nick of time methinks.

There's so much more I wanted to talk about like Ontario throwing out their laws on prostitution ( splendid ) and the recent article in the Daily Mail by Melanie Phillips ( anything but splendid ), but as I'm going to have quite a lot of time on my hands over the next couple of weeks, there's plenty of time for that.

For now I need to rationalise my fears about tomorrow in my mind ; it's quite routine, but it's my woman bits, I think that's what's scaring me the most. I need to get it into context and remember the women who didn't get the same news as I did and are facing an uphill battle.

I found this quote this morning and rather liked it ;

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything…
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the better of her…
But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future…
A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings, and capitalises on them.

A strong woman wears a look of confidence on her face…
But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey…
But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

LL xx

P.S : You may have noticed I have done my availability diary and tour dates right up until the first week in December. Some may call that being anally retentive, I call it being organised.

Money and Power: Commercial Sexual Exploitation in Scotland

Interesting viewing.

"9 out of 10 sex workers want to exit the industry".

Well of course they do, when they are working on the freezing cold streets night after night, with no support from the police forces, let alone local government agencies. Instead of asking desperate, drug addicted women who work on the streets what they thought of their overall circumstances, perhaps they should have taken the
time to ask a reasonable representation of the sex industry as a whole, to include independant escorts and those women who choose to work from home / a flat.

One of the women interviewed said that she had been attacked and raped in the past, and that some of the other women known to her had endured far worse. Instead of blaming the "sex industry" for the horrendous crimes perpetrated against these women, why not take a look at the shoddy legislation instead ? Had these women been allowed to work from a flat in pairs so as to increase the safety aspect, would those attacks have happened ?

The core problem with the sex workers interviewed is that the sex industry is for them, a means to an end. There is no acknowledgement of the fact that for many other sex workers it is an informed decision taken on their part after much research.

Andrea Beavon, domestic abuse co-ordinator for Scottish Borders Council said -

“People feel that it is a choice women have, but the reality is that it is a tool used by the sex industry to make you think it is okay."

Actually, for me it is ok, and it has been for years. What is not ok, is to continue to persecute consenting adults who indulge in paid sex. The resources utilised in doing so would be far better placed seeking and maintaining help for those women who are drug addicted and who place themselves in danger night after night because the law prohibits them from working together in safety and because they have a crippling addiction to feed.

"Alastair Robertson, training co-ordinator for Forth Valley Violence Against Women partnerships, who also features in the seven-minute film, said men have to take more responsibility for their actions.

He said: “Men are the ones with the choice here - they choose to view porn on the internet, or buy a prostitute.."

Actually, the men do not "buy a prostitute", they rent our skills. The next time I have one of my subs hog-tied with clothes pegs on his nipples, I'll remind him of how downtrodden and abused I feel, shall I ?

Linda Thompson, from the Women’s Support Project said -

“These results show the normalisation that is taking place in this country - sexual exploitation is just widely accepted, and it should not be."

Sexual exploitation is NOT acceptable and never has been. Sex workers who campaign for decriminalisation do so because those who feel victimised or pressured into the industry will be enabled to come forward and speak to the authorities. What benefit is there to a woman who has been attacked to go to the Police at the present time ? They may investigate and even catch the perpetrator, but the reality is that the complainant will be on police records as a "known prostitute", so if and when she did wish to apply for a job, a "Disclosure Scotland" check will go against her.

So as it stands, the current legislation -

1) Makes it impossible for a sex worker to work in safety, and

2) Ensures that if said worker looks for an exit, many attempts to do so will be blocked.

For those claiming to be concerned with the welfare of sex workers, there is something very wrong with that structure.

LL xx