Monday, 12 September 2011

Inverness and Information Update

Good evening and greetings from Inverness where I have landed having run the gauntlet with the tail end of Hurricane Irene on the A9. God it's good to be back, gurning at truckers and racing idiots in their Corsas with two exhausts, ( I don't race them by the way, I just put my car into third gear which is usually sufficient ). Anyway, I mentioned I was taking some time off to look after some "real life" issues. That went well, NOT. No sooner had I decided to down tools than I became very ill, very quickly. Perhaps my "corpus" was trying to send me a message. Well, said message was received and understood and following extensive nagging from my nearest and dearest I took the week off and retreated to my boudoir with boy cat where I fell deeply in love with Terry Pratchett. I have started reading "Mort" and have been chortling aloud in various coffee shops and waiting areas ever since. That phrase " ..he couldn't find his own arse with both hands ..", the man is a genius.

Last Saturday I was with J for the weekend and we pottered around Glasgow, ending up in Kelvin grove Museum. I love that place, for some reason every time I go I manage to see something new and this time was no exception. We found the picture I've included for you above. Apparently, this was painted in 1672 by Matthijs Naiveu and is a depiction of a brothel. Right, for the hard of thinking among us ( and that includes moi ) the woman seated is in fact, a prostitute. She is performing on her instrument ( insert completely inappropriate quip here ) to lure her customers into her "lair" as it were. Is it just me or would she not be better just removing one of the 72 layers of clothing she seems to be wearing ? I mean I'm not advocating nudity, some of the top ladies in this industry wouldn't dream of showing their passion cushions on their websites and yet they are still very successful. But really, a skirt down to the toes ? Perhaps that's why there are several centuries between us.

From the past to the future now and you should be able to see that I have done my availability diary from now until the end of October. I will be touring very little in October, that's because I am off to the Isle of Man with Mr. F for five days and then immediately after that, I'm off to Turkey on my family holidays. Two good bits of news on the availability front though - firstly I will be visiting Milton Keynes for one day only on Friday 7th October and will be doing incalls during the day. Also, it is now possible to visit me in Ayrshire, however - this is only if I have met you before or you have have checkable feedback.

Speaking of feedback, a huge thank you to the gent I met today who left me a lovely report here and secondly thank you also to the man who travelled two hours to Inverness to meet me and thrust a box of chocs into my hand. I've eaten eleven of them so far and to be honest I feel quite ill now.

Sometimes I think my ten year old has more sense.

LL xx

( Fret not, on my time off I spied plenty of material for quality rants, I just need to find the time to comb through them one by one. )


  1. Enjoy your October holidays!

  2. Thanks !! I can't wait, sun, sea, sand and Terry Pratchett - bliss. :D


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