Monday, 15 February 2010

Reflections and realisations


Well, I made it. 7 hyperactive, over excited 8 to 11 year olds in a frenzy of pink and glitter. One very successful party and by the time their parents came to pick them up they were practically licking the windows. Success was mine.

I'm in quite a reflective mood today, is it really 9 years since I screamed the maternity hospital down ?

"I'M GOING TO DIE."

"No, you're doing fine love, it won't be long now."

"DON'T FUCKING PATRONISE ME."

Oh, the shame. Still, the midwife came to see me the next morning and I apologised profusely. "Heh, you can't do my job and be sensitive." True I suppose.

Speaking of being sensitive, when is it ok to finally admit to yourself that you just don't like someone ? Recently I have found it to be an incredibly liberating process. So, I have a person who I find to be patronising, sneaky, underhand and only capable of deriving pleasure from what they view as "getting one over" on another person, so as to make themselves feel intellectually or even morally superior. Why on earth did I try and convince myself for so long that I liked them ? Nope, they are everything I despise in a person and I cannot abide them. God that feels good.

The trick now I guess is to maintain my grace and a fixed smile in the interests of peace. Speaking of peace, it's mid term and so my little darling is off school until Thursday. *sigh* It's thundering down with rain today so I'm struggling to find something to keep us both amused. I'm thinking about a museum.

I did have an incall scheduled for this afternoon but have had to cancel because I have strained or pulled a muscle in my neck / shoulder and it is absolutely throbbing. Even when I cough it's sore, so I may need the doc. In the meantime I'm just going to take it easy and chill out, not least because one of my slaves has booked an appointment with me in Inverness on Friday, so I need to have a good swing back in my arm, hehe.

Yours in deep heat and liquid ibuprofen,

LL xx

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