Showing posts with label Dundee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dundee. Show all posts

Friday, 25 January 2013

Ankles and angst


Good evening and greetings from Inverness where I am chilling out with a bowl of room service chilli (dreadful) and my magic wand (significantly less dreadful). I'm thinking back to the day I was awarded my degree all those years ago, it was all going so well. We lined up with our parents and collected our awards, after which we debunked to the local restaurant for lunch and yet more photographs.

At 4pm, our parents made their excuses and left and we regrouped for the party to end all parties. We deserved it, we had all spent the previous six weeks surviving on diet coke and Marlboro lights, trapped in our horrid student flats. By 10pm, it had all begun to fall apart. A couple of fledgling lawyers had wandered off in search of the elusive burger van, one had gone back to a very dodgy flat for a private party and still another had fallen into the canal, by Rathmines. As for me, I was in the residual party of survivors, up the back of the pub singing loudly and having a whale of a time.

Rather typically, my friend E had just found the true love of her life, again. She was quite literally inside his mouth and it was yours truly who was dispatched to go and rescue her. In huge heels and even bigger hair, I picked my way down the sodden and darkened steps to the basement bar, before bawling at her over the loud music - "COME ON, BACK TO MINE". She gave me that look, the one which says - "I'm this close to getting his phone number on the back of a ciggy packet, DO ONE", so I went to Plan B. There were some girls on the steps, dancing side ways up and down (show girl style) to New York, New York. Well, if you can't beat them, join them is what I say. Come the very end of the song and we were really going for it, the fact that I didn't actually know any of the other dancers was by the by, in Irishland, provided you're drunk and friendly, it really doesn't matter.

I went for the bottom step and missed it in spectacular fashion, my foot went over to one side and there was a loud 'snap'. I didn't actually hear that snap, but it was politely pointed out by a lady who was sitting at a table just adjacent to my not very comfortable landing pad. I laughed out loud, ankles don't just snap, right ? Having said that, when I got to my feet, that ankle flatly refused to take the weight of my body, resulting in my getting home through a variety of carrying techniques and hopping.

By the time we got to my flat, my ankle was rather swollen, but I was reliably informed that it was just sprained, so in true Irish fashion we got on with the night and commenced strip poker. Come 4am, my ankle was turning black, and the size of a football.

"I'm not being funny girls, but I really think I've done something awful here."

"Oh give over. Put some frozen peas on it. Well, mini pizza's then."

I woke up the next day in mortal agony. I literally couldn't get out of bed, any sudden movement at all went right through my foot and caused anything from a sharp intake of breath to a muted scream.

I did what every independent twenty something graduate does in times of trouble, I called my Dad.

"DADDY, I FELL".

He came to my rescue, and sat with me in the hospital whilst they manipulated my ankle back into place and plastered it up. Cue paternal loving frown.

"Look, you'll be all right. Just get up and get on with it".

This week, I've had the week from hell in a lot of respects. I had some bad news which quite literally took my breath away, it was like a punch to the stomach. Although I'm entering a really exciting phase involving a lot of media and a total change in direction, that one phone call really took the wind out of my sails. So, I did the one thing a thirty something mother at the base of a new career and in a crisis should do, I called my Dad. Cue paternal loving frown.

"Look, you'll be all right. Head up and keep smiling. Go get 'em."

Thanks Dad.

LL xx

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Catalonia, Christmas and Cloak and Dagger


So I'm off to Spain tomorrow for a week with Mr F and I can't wait, I'm looking out of my window whilst doing this blog and it's chucking it down with people battling against high winds with inside-out umbrellas, bleurgh. I'm looking forward to leaving my books behind and having a care free time strolling about in the heat. Tonight will be a combination of packing and last minute beauty treats.

When I come back I have a lot to do, this year's accounts need to be in by Oct 31st and I also have a heavy study schedule ahead too. Well you know what they say, the devil makes work for idle hands. ;)

I'm starting the planning process for this year's ladies night for Christmas too, it should be a lot of fun. I'm looking at locations in Edinburgh because it will make it easier for ladies from Aberdeen and Dundee to join us. I had toyed with the idea of getting a "special Santa", but can you imagine 10 to 15 well oiled escorts and a stripper ? They'll eat the poor guy alive !!! Last year was good but the location for our meal had VERY loud music and personally I can't stand having to shout to make myself heard so I'll choose more carefully this year and visit the location firstly.

In the meantime there are a couple of us floozies will be attending a very special meeting of our own quite soon and I will let you know more about it afterwards. Sorry to be so cloak and dagger but you'll appreciate why when I spill the beans. ;)

So ciao for now and I'll catch up with you when I get back.

LL xx

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Wine, feck ups and fond memories

When someone invents a wine that does not carry with it a horrendous hangover that feels like a tribe of rabid zulu warriors are dancing on my head, they'll be instant millionaires. Of this I am convinced. Two ibuprofen, two slices of toast and two mugs of tea later and I'm starting to feel like communicating a little above a neanderthal grunt. Gotta love Saturdays. Not quite what you expect in an escort blog, is it ? "Morning darlings, I'm just back from a 100 mile run with my personal trainer, and after my smoothie and berocca sandwich it's 250 sit ups."Humph.

Anyway, I've returned in one piece from my glorious tour of erm ... Carnoustie. The town which is ( I'm reliably informed by a client in the know ) home to golfers and dead people. To put it another way, I fecked up again in spectacular fashion. I googled apartments in Dundee and found the most beautiful place which was very reasonably priced too. That's because it was in the middle of NOWHERE. Amanda and I picked up the keys and then followed our sat navs to the apartment and I suppose alarm bells should have started to ring when we had to overtake tractors on single track roads along the way. *sigh*

It turns out our "Dundee" apartment was actually about 7 miles from the city centre and a 15 minute drive, oops. Luckily most of the guys were willing to make the journey and come and see us, and let's face it, discretion was never going to be an issue unless you count the bunnies on the golf course opposite the apartment. For all that it was a lovely spot and very peaceful, if I ever fancy a couple of days chill out time I'll certainly go back.

Tonight I have an overnight booking with one of my guys in Glasgow and am going to introduce him to the best creme brulee ever. I'm looking forward to it because he always spoils me rotten.
Speaking of feck-ups and Glasgow outcalls, I had one which I won't forget for a while and which made it onto the Saafe site too. It's in the humour section of the site whereas it should be in the "What not to do for new escorts" section.

A guy I'd met before quite a while ago asked me to do an outcall to his hotel one evening. I reognised the email address straight away although I couldn't quite remember what he looked like. ( Give me a break, it was over 18 months since I'd seen him last ). So I sashay up to the Raddison, give the concierge a beamer and head to the hotel room. I gave my hair one last pat and knocked on the door. The door opened and there stood a wet man in just a towel, obviously just out of the shower.

Me : Hi !
Him : Um, hello!
Me : Aren't you going to let me in then ?
Him : By all means, just as soon as you tell me who you are. *grin*
Me : So you didn't .....
Him: No, but since you're ....
Me : Sorry to have disturbed you.

I flounced down to reception and called my client on his mobile. I hissed " YOU SAID THE RADISSON".

"Laura, light of my life, I said the Ramada."

On that note I'm off to see if a cold compress will make any difference to my feverish brow.