Sunday, 11 April 2010

Clients and Comments

Good evening and greetings from home where I'm perched on my sofa with a cool glass of vino after an immensely brilliant day. It's hard to fathom that just two weeks ago there was a severe weather warning and trains stuck in snow. Today the sun was beaming down and everyone was smiling, ( even the Neds. )

I met a client today who was nervous as hell, because his previous pleasures have always taken place in Amsterdam, where you can literally survey before you commit. He sent me an email to say he was very impressed with my site and my blog and was willing to take a chance and book without having seen my face. ( Actually, at the time of his email arrival it was probably a good job too. )

Anyway, I'm very glad he did, and I think he is too. Because he had booked an extended lunch time appointment I suggested nibbles, so I found myself sprinting around to M & S to get some sandwiches, fruit and "real" lemonade. You know what ? I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that we sat down to have the nibbles firstly, it was a brilliant ice breaker and I'm strongly thinking about including a "lunch date" in my rates, where I provide the lunch.

Onto a more serious matter. When I became an activist, I did so with rose coloured spectacles I suppose, I thought I could have my say and there would be some who would agree and some who would disagree. What I wasn't prepared for was the level of personal insults that some people will stoop to.

The other day on the debate on "Comment is Free" on the Guardian site, I was told my chosen profession is seedy and sordid. I was also compared to excrement and told that I must have no feelings. I was able to counter all of the arguments, but I have to tell you, the one about "no feelings" got me. So, you go through all the rationalisations in your head ..

"They don't know me, they've never met me "...

"They're cyber warriors, hiding behind an internet persona " ...

..but it still stung.

Underneath this brusque and confident exterior lies a sensitive soul, as is the case with most extroverts. I need to toughen up, I know I do, far worse is ahead for us in the Scottish paid sex scene. I guess I just needed to vocalise my feelings on it. Hell, I am one of the most loving and empathetic people you could possibly meet. To suggest that just because I sell sex I am numb to all emotion is untrue, hurtful and ill-based.

Ok rant over.


LL xx


  1. I've never met you, but it's quite obvious from your writings here and elsewhere that, far from being a person with "no feelings" you are a passionate, intelligent, and formidable woman. You've created life, your job makes people feel happy and less lonely, and you're not afraid to put yourself out their as an activist for your community.

    The Grauniad keyboard commandos? What the F*** do we suppose any of them have ever done? They sit in some cubicle typing all day, their life slowly ticking away, wallowing in their bourgeois bullsh*** and getting angry at you because you refuse to allow society to put its leash on you like it's done to them.

    If I were you, I'd just pity the poor buggers.

  2. Was it John Major who said back in the nineties "Don't let the bastards get you down"? Of course, he was talking about his own cabinet at the time, but the sentiment is the same.

    It's a sad fact that the worst aspect of having an online identity is that there will always be people who sit at their screen and throw insults and general nastiness around without thinking about the *real* people on the other side of the screen that might get hurt. And the funny thing is that most of the idiots that do this wouldn't say boo to a goose in the 'real world'.

    I'm a writer, and I have to have a thick skin. Back in 2004 when I was starting out writing erotica, I was a member of a critique group. I tell you, I had to develop that thick skin pretty damn quick. It was bad enough when my 'babies' (my stories) were being torn apart and I was being told what I was doing wrong all the time. But I needed the skin for the group's forums too 'cause they could get really, really nasty at times. I bet it's the same with all online forums.

    You're right, you do need to 'toughen up'. You need to grow a thick skin. Not because of your profession - I bet that for that a little bit of compassion and empathy goes a long way toward putting your clients at ease - but because you write about what you do and put yourself 'ot there'. Just imagine how tough a skin the likes of Gordon Brown and David Cameron need during this election. There'll be insults galore from all corners and neither of them can afford to take it personally.

    And neither can you.

    If I can quote a line from the Lindsey Lohan film "Mean Girls" - "Don't let the haters stop you from doing you thang."

    (And yes, I did just say "Thang")



  3. Thank you very much. :) Ironic really that I can scare the living crap out of various CEO's when in domme role. Ho hum.


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