Friday, 2 April 2010
Penises and professionalism
It's the end of a very long two days in Carnoustie. That sounds negative and I don't mean it to, I've enjoyed every minute but heavens to Murgatroyd it's been diverse. I think it's fair to say I have seen my fair share of proud male members, but nothing could have prepared me for the apparition that awaited me yesterday. It kind of veered off to one side and had a very "Err, what ?" appearance.
Ever the consummate professional,( shut it ) I said nothing but my client must have caught my sideways glance.
"Aaaah, I see you've noticed my best friend."
"NO !! Not at all, I was just checking the bedside table, it's my OCD."
"Well, it's down to an unfortunate accident I had in 1992. I caught him in the springs of a trampoline."
Many thoughts went through my mind at that moment, the most obvious being "What the very feck were you doing on a trampoline naked ? Actually, don't answer that."
He said himself and his pals were trying to dismantle said trampoline when it snapped shut very suddenly and took him with it. Ouch. I'm not a man ( obviously ), but I have to tell you I was crossing my legs at that point. Never mind, it made for some seriously interesting reverse cow girl.
Anyway, the Scottish Parliament are on their Easter break and so am I. I'll be back and available in Glasgow on Monday. A very Happy Easter to you all and enjoy the time off work.