Bed Picnics and Belfast

Short, spiked fringes coaxed with gel ( fae Farmfoods ) and brushed forwards to within an inch of their lives, an over powering waft of Lynx Animal and his and hers shiny tracksuits - it can only mean one thing, I'm back in Glasgow, hurrah.

I had a splendid time in London. Firstly let me say it is always a pleasure to meet a gentleman who has found me via Rhia Charles, as I know he'll have a modicum of basic manners and decorum as a minimum. This particular gent arrived at my hotel room with a bed picnic, consisting of freshly squeezed orange juice, smoked salmon, grapes and chocolate biscuits too, it was bliss, ( or as we say in Glasgow - it was pure brilliant, so it was ).

I had the opportunity to have dinner with Ellie LLoyd, Susan and Burlesque Honey and we amused ourselves by people watching. To be more specific, we were watching one particular "lady" ( and I use the term very loosely indeed ) who was gyrating around a bemused business man with such ferocity that I thought she was going to do her neck an injury with all that orgasm-mimicking flicking that was going on. We were in stitches to begin with, especially when said business man spotted us and said -

"In her defence, she IS Norwegian."

Well that finished us off I'm afraid. In the end I found myself rather annoyed that her so called "friends" didn't get her in a headlock and take her to her room to sleep off the excesses because she really was in danger of doing something dreadfully daft. Ho hum.

Tomorrow I'm off to Belfast and true to form the volcanic ash has hit us once again, just on time. Great. Hopefully Spandex and I will formulate an alternative travel plan which succeeds, otherwise I shall miss my monthly tryst. I've grown completely impervious to the bemused looks of security men now, I usually just flash them a grin.

Well, I'm sure I'm not the first woman to walk through customs with a rampant rabbit, butt plug, cat o'nine tails, handcuffs, bondage rope, lube in several flavours, nipple clamps, an egg topper, various restraints, a blindfold and two strap ons. Anyway, if anyone compromises my identity on Twitter I can always sue, I don't see why not, every other fecker is.

LL xx

Moggies, Mountains and Missions

I really wish the red deer of Scotland would have an EGM.

"Listen guys, I'm not so sure about this 'standing in the middle of the road' thing. That's Kenny AND Colin we've lost this last week alone, and Heaven alone knows if Kev's antlers will ever be the same again." They could introduce some punitive measure such as having to shack up with the doe with the worst breath, for instance. Everyone's a winner, the bucks get to shine up their antlers in time for the rutting season and I don't almost roll my car around a feckin' ditch trying to dodge them on the A82 on my way back from The Highlands. *sigh*

I think it's fair to say that girl cat is not exactly known for her high intellectual ability either, which is one of the reasons I adore her. There's a wonderful Glasgow expression .... "there's a want about that cat", which just about sums her up really. Never in my life have I met a cat who will repeatedly chase her own tail, catch it, bite it, cry ... and do it again - nor have I ever met a cat who ( when I have the audacity to close my bedroom door for some 'me' time ) headbutts the door repeatedly to the amusement of my pal who remarked -

'Gonnae buy that cat a wee American footie helmet 'afore she knocks wuts left o' her brains oot.' ( I've never been one for dressing up animals but I must admit, that does sound unbearably cute. )

Since I moved into my new dwelling, boy cat has established himself in the back garden and takes great pleasure in tormenting my neighbour's Shih Tzus by doing the circumference of the garden on a high wall and waving his tail at them. It hasn't occurred to him yet that they're too busy humping anything which moves ( each other usually ), to notice or even care. Girl cat, on the other hand, managed to get out of the kitchen ( NB : not while I was here ) and has yet to return. That was two weeks ago. :(

Since then, a massive search and rescue mission has been ongoing, with various members of my family and friends roaming the streets calling her and rattling her favourite biscuit box, but to no avail. At first I thought she'd return when she was hungry, ( so within 45 minutes then ) but zilch. In the interim I have called the police, the council and the Cat's Protection League and whilst I know it's a voluntary post and to be commended, I really wish the gentleman that persons the telephone would hone his people skills, just a tad.

"Is she neutered ?"

"Yes she is, and micro-chipped too."

"Ah well, that's good then, I haven't had a report of a CARCASS matching her description yet".

"Um .... well that's positive I guess."

".....because you see what happens is, even if she was flattened by a car, it's the Council's job to pick up the CARCASS. The CARCASS is then transported to the depot and scanned to see if there is any owner. None of the local vets have reported a CARCASS either."

In case it hasn't become screamingly apparent over time, I adore my mogs, so to hear my beloved Foghorn Leghorn ( one of her pet names ) described as a "CARCASS" was a bit upsetting to be honest. He really did bellow it too, it must be his word of the week. It did nothing to ease my stress levels I can tell you.

My own opinion is that she has pitched up with some sweet old lady somewhere and is busy eating her out of house and home - I can see her now, opening her big green eyes and miaowing like she's never been fed, a poster child for the SSPCA. I really hope she makes it home, but as time goes by I'm starting to wonder. My misery has been compounded by my new neighbour ( a fearsome woman who resembles Popeye, but with blonde hair ), who told me of a spate of cat nappings in the area a couple of years ago, "for the greyhounds". I don't want to even think about that. :(

Onto matters more positive, I had a splendid time in The Highlands, we took a cable car up the Nevis Range and the above picture was taken there, fabulous views. From just south of Fortwilliam we took the Corran Ferry to Ardgour and drove out to Ardnamurchan. It really is a place of exceptional natural beauty and peace, lucky as we were to be able to watch some herons nesting, and to simply enjoy the glorious landscape and blazing sun. Later in the week we were booked to do some off-road driving in a Landrover Defender and once I got over my initial nerves I was driving around like Mr. Magoo with "go faster" stripes, it was a hoot.

In fact, lately I've begun to appreciate the outdoors a lot more and have recently discovered the merits of running, ( yes, really ). I don't claim for one minute to be able to run particularly fast or for long periods of time but I love it, the rush of adrenalin is fantastic and I have managed to shed a further 7 pounds whilst pounding around with my Ipod too.

As you know if you have read my inane witterings as far back as that, last year I had a rather nasty scare when I found a lump, every woman's worst nightmare, ( not to mention what my Sis went through ). So, this year myself and a group of my girl friends are doing the "Race for Life" in Glasgow on Sunday June 5th, to raise money for cancer research. I have set up a fund raising page under my nom de plume so that anyone who reads my blog may also donate to Marie Curie too, a very worthy cause. I have set my target at £500 which is very attainable I would say so dig deep people !!
If you'd like to sponsor me you can do so without giving any of your personal information through this here link -

http://www.justgiving.com/Laura-Lee4

Thank you SOOOO much in advance, I will let you know how it all goes and how much I manage to raise too.

LL xx

Legalities, Log Cabins and London

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Magnanti and Mentoring

Good evening, greetings from home, where I'm fighting for space on the sofa with my furries.

First of all, I want to apologise most sincerely for the sudden cessation of my Inverness tour, I had a phone call from home and had to sprint down the A9 and as such I haven't been available since then. As I'm away from tomorrow for six days I won't be available in Glasgow until April 24th. I felt dreadful leaving Susan on her lonesome but it really couldn't be helped, so to those guys I had to cancel at the last minute, my apologies and I will see you in June.

*sigh*

Dr. Magnanti ( aka Belle ) recently did an interview where she addressed " third wave feminism " and answered her feminist critics. In the comments afterwards high levels of vitriol and hatred ensued, with the usual suspects out in force. The link is here ;

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/apr/10/brooke-magnanti-belle-de-jour

The bit that interested me was this ;

"I spend about half of my email time every day discouraging people clearly unsuited to the job from doing it. I'd be interested to know how many of my critics have actually successfully talked anyone out of sex work, because I do it all the damn time."

Hmmm, I can identify with that. Some time ago a lady contacted me and expressed an interest in becoming an escort. We chatted on the phone and she seemed to be brimming with enthusiasm, so I arranged to meet her for coffee.

"I mean, obviously I would have to fancy them".

Oh dear.

"Ok, see that man over there with the long beard, nervous tick and unfortunate nasal excavation habit ? Can you see yourself rolling around with him with an hour ?"

Suffice to say that by the time we had finished coffee she was reconsidering her career.

It's not that I don't like my job, I love it, but it takes a certain type of person to do it and to be successful at it too. It's only fair that I make it abundantly clear that not all clients look like Richard Gere ( or even Hugh Grant for that matter ) and that even the most polished professionals can have a shitty attitude or halitosis. ( Special mention must go to the labia biters and those who think it's erotic to lick your cheek. ) Escorting can be a fabulous career for the right lady, but they must be aware of the potential pitfalls such as secrecy and lies, the possibility of being outed and of course stigma and social isolation.

On a more positive note, another lady has made it through all the jumps and hurdles that is the Grand National of becoming an escort and has launched her site. ( Another slim blonde, seriously ? Someone on high is having a laugh ).

She is Glasgow based and is already lining her diary with appointments and so she should be, I think she'll be a fabulous escort. Here's her website ;

http://maxeem.co.uk/

Meanwhile, I'm off to get packed, J and I are off to the East Coast tomorrow for six days of fun and frolics with plans including a secluded forest and a picnic with a difference. ;)

I'll catch up with you when I get back.

LL xx

Tarts and Tadpoles

Good evening and greetings from LL towers ( new edition ) where I have finally come down to earth after a nerve destroying house move.

Before I start waxing lyrical about that, I wanted to draw your attention to a recent interview Krystal Champagne did for the TV - I thought she came across brilliantly, she's a very brave lady to speak out as she did. One of my favourite parts was where she said that true degradation is when you take away the choices of women, one of those choices being to enter the sex industry. Well said that lady.

The link is here ;

http://www.itv.com/tynetees/krystal-interview93405/

Another link for you - the rather brilliant Dr. Brooke Magnanti has begun a new blog, looking at the statistics and issues surrounding sex work from a scientist's point of view. It promises to be excellent reading and the link is here ;

http://sexonomics-uk.blogspot.com/

I will certainly follow that with interest.

In the meantime, on the 31st of March I moved house. I am noting the date because on the 1st of April I had to catch a flight to Bristol at 7am. Brilliant.
( Not impressed.com )

I have no idea where all of the "stuff" came from, there seemed to be an endless line of boxes and bags. Actually, most of it can be attributed to l'enfant terrible who has developed a penchant for hoarding. I've told her that if she's not careful she'll end up on "A life of Grime", but to no avail. Her most prized possession came with us too, her collection of tadpoles. ( More on that later ).

Anyway I flew to Bristol, praying that if I'm ever going to be outed it wouldn't be that day, because far from stepping off the plane as a glamorous, non-plussed escort, I'm sure I managed to make small children cry and adults recoil in horror as I waited for my case. My long suffering and very good friend BBW Claire came to the rescue, she picked me up from the airport and took me to her abode where I could have a snooze and a shower before heading off into the night, finally in a gown and full make-up. ( One has standards, you know. )

The next day was a social event, it was Amanda's birthday too. I won't go into too much detail about her birthday cake etc. as it has been covered admirably by Claire in her blog -

http://bbwclaire.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/if-i-knew-you-were-coming-id-have-baked-a-cake/

There was quite a group of us and much hilarity ensued - it was wonderful to see Danish Pia again, I haven't seen that lady since 2008. What Claire didn't mention in her blog though, is that the kitchen of the restaurant where we were quickly caught onto the fact that we were a group of rather naughty people, not because of our behaviour but because one of our members merrily informed them that they could feel free to make a show of Amanda, no barriers. Above then, is the creation presented to us by the Head Chef which he "whipped up" whilst we were waiting for the cake. ( Naughty Italian Chef, I almost ended his shift early by taking him in a headlock to a taxi. )

I flew home the following day to absolute mayhem, little princess and boxes everywhere. *sigh*

Her prized collection of tadpoles had found it's way onto the mantelpiece, contained as they were in a Wall's ice-cream tub. ( For what it's worth, I hate animals out of their natural environ, which is why I hate Zoo's, I remember going to Edinburgh Zoo and being deeply depressed by the polar bear who was clearly not well, rocking back and forth. She has since been re-homed in the Highlands. )

Girl cat, on the other hand, welcomed our new edition with open paws. To her, it was like "Whack a Mole" on Brighton Pier. Simply insert your paw, bash a tadpole on the head and repeat ad nauseum, until you're bored or all of the tadpoles have migrated to the bottom of the tub in the fervent hope that said cat will bog off.

Not to be outdone, girl cat came up with a cunning plan. Tonight I came home to what can only be described as tadpole carnage. She got fed up with the "waiting for them to come to the surface" thing and knocked the entire tub to the floor. I'm not sure if you've ever had the experience of trying to pick up tadpoles from a very slippy laminate floor but I promise you, it's not fun. The population of our tadpoles went from approx. 237 to 9 in one swoop of a paw.

Whoops.

As an animal lover, I should be gutted. The truth though, is amongst the mayhem of boxes of "favourite" headless dolls and games missing most of their pieces, the very last thing I needed was some adolescent amphibians boinging around. I know, I'm horrible. The good news is that tomorrow the gutsy survivors are being re-homed in the pond two doors down and not a minute before time, they have just started to develop their back legs and for a cat, once they've matured sufficiently, I'm sure that represents a challenge akin to pacman. Not in my house it doesn't.

With a deep sigh, I'm off to contemplate why I have developed such a crush on John Bishop ( Liverpudlian comedian ). There's nowt queerer than folk.

LL xx

This just in re Trish Godman...

...from the Journal of the Law Society of Scotland.

It looks as if:-
1. It will not be implemented unless both WGs and punters are criminalised.
2. The Committee thought it was totally impractical anyway.

"Purchase and sale of sex;

Trish Godman MSP has been holding a public consultation on her proposed Criminalisation of the Purchase and Sale of Sex ( Scotland ) Bill. This looks to criminalise the purchasers of sex and related selling activities and seeks views on a number of areas including penalties and whether to criminalise the purchaser only or the purchaser and seller. The Criminal Law Committee is submitting a response. It notes the intention of the Bill to reduce demand for the purchase of sex in Scotland, and to strengthen existing legislation in order to make Scotland an unattractive market for prostituting and related trafficking.

On the main question, the commmittee feels on balance, that if the bill were to be passed, both seller and purchaser should be criminalised, as this would be consistent with the gender balance in previous legislation and also would allow intervention and support with regard to those involved in prostitution.

The committee welcomes any objective which reduces the risk of harm to women involved in prostitution, but has concerns with regard to the practical effects of this proposal."

Meanwhile, herewith an excerpt from a letter I received this morning which I really liked ;


Dear Laura,

As instructed I followed the link http://weareequals.org/blog/guest-blogger-belle-de-jour/ blog, and I now have you to blame for my high blood pressure! I must have scanned most of the ~200 replies and the only one I agree with is Eva’s. Who is M. Smith? Who is Eva? Smith has a self-destructive approach if his intension is to educate people. Rather aggressive and insulting in many replies and particularly to Dr M.

Perhaps it’s important for you to know who I am. Well nobody really. A well established scientist at the University of *********, who has never enjoyed the company of an escort or any other sex-worker. But there are a few things that get me really annoyed. Bad data, bad statistics, biased documentation, poor scientific methodology any form of prejudice or injustice. I think most of the documents I’ve seen from the anti-lobby qualify for all of the above.

Previous high blood pressure was caused my T. Godman and that document ‘Challenging Demand Scotland’ which she frequently uses to justify her Bill, along with documents from news papers and TV shows. Not exactly peer-reviewed academic research! I did respond to her Bill, although got stuck on question 1 and found myself constrained by not being able to express my view within the boundaries of the questions. But why only 38 individuals? You must have more clients than that? Why did they not reply? There are problems with the sex industry but they can be tackled in a more sympathetic, helpful and constructive manner. This Bill will not achieve its aims.

There is also so much information within the peer-reviewed journals that there is no excuse not to be well informed. It’s rare that you can delve into another research area and understand the articles. Most of the time you need at least a couple of degrees and years of specialisation before you stand a chance. So even less excuse for MSP’s to be so ignorant! Perhaps I’ve been selective but most peer-reviewed papers are very positive about your occupation and equally aware of the problems and their solutions. But I should read the anti-lobby even if their research is not peer-reviewed and financially supported by anti-prostitution groups: As long as you know, its OK. I don’t wish to be accused of being biased.

I really don’t know how you survive, and I apologise for this rant! – Don’t know why I find the need to contact you other than to demonstrate support.

Sir, your support is very much appreciated and the voice of common sense is always welcome.

LL xx

Belle and Belligerence

Belle de Jour ( or Dr. Magnanti to give her her "proper" title ) was recently invited to submit a blog to the we are equals blog. The link is here for you ;

http://weareequals.org/blog/guest-blogger-belle-de-jour/

....and the main crux of her text -

When we think of the battles for women’s equality, we tend these days to dwell on issues like childcare or maternity leave. If the focus shifts outside of the bubble of middle class privilege, it is to consider the plight of women in developing countries, many of whom are denied basic rights such as education. Surely, we think, all the fundamental battles have been won; surely in the Western world the problem now is tweaking the makeup of boardrooms or discussing the right height of kitten heel for a female MP. We’ve done it, we think. We’re nearly there. We’re winning.

And yet there is still a large, and largely silent, population of women in this country whose rights are compromised on daily basis.
That group is sex workers.

While not all people who engage in sex work are women, the vast majority are, and when laws and policies are written, they are usually written to address female, heterosexual sex work. Anti-trafficking efforts focus on women; so, too, does outreach for streetwalkers.

And yet we fall down on some of the most basic equalities when it comes to this group of women. Consider, for instance, the case of Newcastle policeman Stephen Mitchell, convicted of raping women he met in the line of duty. Women with pasts, sometimes addicts and streetwalkers. But women nonetheless. He terrorized women for seven years before being brought to justice.

When sex workers are attacked by serial murderers, the discussion of ‘prostitutes’ rather than ‘women’ absorbs the press. As if, somehow, by having exchanged money for sex – an act which is legal in this country – one forever relinquishes the right to expect not to be murdered. Yes, sex work is sometimes dangerous. But perhaps we, as a society, should be asking ourselves whether our endless judgment of sex workers, rather than doing anything to stop violent murderers, is exacerbating the problem.

Earlier this year, in Florida, policeman Jimmy Dac Ho confessed to handcuffing and killing an escort after he refused to pay her. Former colleagues recalled Ho as sexually inappropriate with his female co-workers, and a string of domestic abuse allegations caused him to lose a previous job. It’s small wonder, then, that sex workers can feel mistrustful and suspicious of the police.

In Surrey, brothel madam Hanna Morris rang police after two armed and masked men robbed her establishment. She was the one who was arrested. The criminals who broke in were never pursued. It seems a perverse action to say the least, and does nothing to reassure women who may already be vulnerable to crime. If the police won’t help them, if the media and public label them, how can we call this society equal? I’m afraid to say that even people whose morality you may disapprove of deserve the full protection of law. That’s kind of how it’s meant to work in our society.

Unfortunately for those who think sex work should be criminalised, there is ample evidence to show that this ends up putting women in an even worse position. Afraid or unable to call on the police. Less likely to assert themselves with potentially dangerous clients. And as seen in places like Cambodia, at higher risk for infections like HIV. It’s an uncomfortable truth we must face up to – making sex work illegal puts women at risk.

For me, women will be equal when any crime against a woman is investigated and prosecuted the same regardless of her occupation and regardless of her sexual history. Human rights are human rights, full-stop, for women – all women – including women in sex work.

Bravo, very well said. I thought it was a very articulate and reasoned piece highlighting the continuing imbalance in the perceptions of sex workers as workers and women deserving of the same rights as all other workers.

As I have become accustomed to, some of the comments afterwards in the ensuing debate left me sliding from my chair in shock. Take this for an example ;

Here’s a thought, prostitutes: stop selling what does not belong to you exclusively. You don’t have MY permission to make my sexuality– or my sister’s, or my daughter’s, or my friends’, etc– your product for personal profit. When you make all women less safe in the world because of what you do, I don’t really care about your special need for “protection.”


WOW !! I don't need to ask for anyone's permission to do what I do, I think you'll find. As for making all women in the world feel unsafe, oh please. If I want to sit in my greenhouse as part of my huge house in Shropshire and cross-stitch all day, that is my perogative. Equally if I want to work in the sex industry quite legally and enjoy the freedom of being self employed not to mention the financial security, that too is my perogative. To me, that commentator is showing sheer hatred towards sex workers in that they are saying that they don't care what happens to us. For someone who purports to be concerned with the safety of "all women", I find that statement to be indicative of the marginalisation and stigma we encounter as sex workers all the time. "LET'S PROTECT ALL WOMEN, BUT NOT PROSTITUTES BECAUSE THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GET".

Luckily and before I lost the will to live ( I do that a lot, you may have noticed ) another commentator brought up the valuable studies of Dr. Suzanne Jenkins, a lady I had the pleasure of meeting in Manchester.


You may want to look at a more recent research paper published by Dr. Suzanne Jenkins, from Keele University, Staffs on prostitution. BEYOND GENDER: AN EXAMINATION OF EXPLOITATION IN SEX WORK. Available at http://www.sexworker.at/phpBB2/download.php?id=479

Facts like 72% female escorts like the work for the independence, 67% for meeting people and of course 93% for the money.

When asked about client relationships 54% put the transaction as an equality, 26% that the client was vulnerable. Only 6% saw that the client had power over them.

77% of escorts felt their clients respected them, and a similar number also respected their client.

72% of escorts felt their self confidence had been increased.

56.6% of escort felt they had never been exploited by their clients, while only 3% were exploited often.

The abolitionists are very fond of throwing around statistics that are suited to their own agenda, almost always derived from aged studies on street workers. The findings above go a long way towards dispelling those myths.

Finally, this comment caught my eye -

Yes us former prostituted people all know the views of the uknswp who do not represent the majority of prostituted people in this country or on a global scale. Just as the prostituted people know what their views are – or should I say the minorty views they are interested in hearing. They, like other people who propose to represent prostituted people are more interested in putting the concerns of a tiny few forward. It allows them to live in la la land. They are linked with the IUSW for example who recruit abusers from Punternet and encourage them to lobby their MP’s to legalise! Most of these rights groups are made up of a tiny minority of people who do not have regular intense bodily contact with tricks, lots of them work in the fetish industry or like Magnanti, work in the big money mainly white middle class trade.

I am truly sorry that the commentator's experience of the sex industry has been such a negative one, like any other industry it has several complex tiers. Having suffered the abuse she did, I can only conclude that she was working largely against her will, which is not the experience of the vast majority of sex workers.

I may work in the mainly middle class trade now but I have worked in parlours many years ago and have experienced many different aspects of the industry. Her criticism of Magnanti appears to be largely that she purports to speak for all sex workers, but she doesn't. She speaks and has spoken about her own experiences in the sex industry and has said that she considers herself very lucky in her time there. I can say the same thing too, I speak for myself - having said that I have over the years met many, many sex workers at all levels.

I DO have regular intense bodily contact with my clients and as a frequent contributor to Punternet I take great exception to her assertion that we seek to "recruit abusers" to help lobby MP's. I have met a great many of those so called "abusers" and not always as clients, sometimes at socials, etc. Abusers they are not, regular professional men who enjoy the company of women for pay would be a better description. The fact that some of them use their professional expertise to advise on matters of law, etc. on the forum shows that they care for the welfare of WGs and how to protect them when the law fails.

I do not live in "la la land" thank you very much, I live in the real world. I know that if decriminalisation were to be permitted then the abuses like those suffered by the above commentator would be dramatically reduced if not erradicated completely through regulation. I do not seek to throw around grandiose generalisations about the sex industry, neither should the last commentator. I am a realist and I know that abuses happen but I also know that right across the board, at every level of the industry there are women who are truly happy in their work.

It is not for anyone else to tell me how I feel or what I ought to do, I am an independent woman and am well capable of articulating my own feelings or needs.

LL xx