Saturday, 5 September 2009

Ignoramuses, ice skating and ITV

There are some very "different" people associated with the escorting business, and that's for sure. Last summer when I had an apartment in the centre of Glasgow I had a gentleman come and see me for a brief appointment. I have never been a clock watcher but this man stayed for THREE HOURS. During that time he pumped me for information about any or all of the escorts I know and I told him the bare minimum. He then proceeded to start to tell me all he knew about any of the girls he has ever seen, including their real names, where they live, etc. I stopped him in his tracks and told him I really didn't want to know, it's none of my business.

To distract him a bit I told him a little about myself and finally he left. Last month one of my friends who is London based was touring Glasgow and had the "pleasure" of this gentleman. He proceeded to tell her everything he had learned about me and more on top which he made up. He pulled the same stunt as he did with me and wouldn't leave and to add insult to injury when she started to work on her laptop he stood behind her and tried to read what she was doing.

The best bit of all is that on the day I saw him, he had booked me through the AW booking system and didn't leave me any feedback. Last month I did a day of incalls from a Glasgow hotel and he had the audacity to text me, "Laura remember me ? Could I have an appointment today ?" In your dreams pal. Honestly, there are some bitches in this industry but the men can be worse. It's a shame because the vast majority of guys are lovely and would never dream of asking for personal information, much less compromise a lady's security or privacy. Some people could really do with a hefty slap to the chops. ( I'm tired and irritable, can you tell ? )

Anyway, tomorrow is Sunday and it's a combo of studying and ice skating for me. Yes, ice skating. My little Tasmanian she devil absolutely loves it and has just passed Grade 2 of her figure skating exams. ( I had to get that bit in as a very proud Mum ) She is naturally very lithe and supple and as soon as she hit the ice she just took off. I on the other hand, am like a newborn fawn when I go on the ice, one leg goes east and one goes west and it's at times like that when I thank God for the extra bit of padding on my behind. I'm absolutely determined though, it's not going to get the better of me and tomorrow I WILL do some actual skating without clinging onto the sides with my 8 year old in hysterics.

Speaking of extra padding, I absolutely HAVE to get back to the gym with a vengeance. In my old home town I had a personal trainer who was absolutely fantastic, but around the time I moved to Ayrshire, he moved to London. He used to charge £20 an hour but it was worth every penny because he pushed me to the limit. On hearing my disappointment at losing touch with him, my father was appalled I ever paid that much in the first place and rather gamely offered to chase me around a field with a cattle prod for £10 an hour. Cheers Dad.

The X-Factor is back and I must confess I love it, particularly in the early stages when they have those people on who once sang drunk at a Karaoke night and are convinced they are the next Mariah Carey. Don't these people have friends ? Someone to say "Look, you know I love you and you have many talents, but you CAN'T SING." I have to admit I have a soft spot for Simon Cowell too. Yes, he can be an abrasive and irritating person but I think he's guilty of growing into his own caricature if anything. Not exactly high brow intellectual viewing but for sheer entertainment value it's hard to beat. In fact, in the background at the moment "The Xtra Factor" is on and there's a man rapping dressed as a chicken. Brilliant.

By the way, is it just me or are ITV still increasing the volume levels on their advertisements between programs ? I'm sure I read somewhere that they were given a ticking off for that a number of years ago, it's very noticeable and blares without warning.

I was going to say I'm getting old and grumpy but I guess I should really start to worry when I'm certain all of the television stations are turning their volume down. ;)


LL xx

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