Men, Mice and Mating

"Of Men and Mice " - Contrary to Steinbeck's tale of woe, I've had a blast in the last day or two. Yesterday I had a message on Twitter from a friend. Well, he was a client, became a friend, and now he's a client, friend and fellow activist too, it's all very confusing but in the most delicious way. I checked out of my hotel room in Dundee early and scampered over the Tay bridge to meet him in Edinburgh. He took me out for a delicious meal of my fave steak, rounded off with an Irish coffee. After that we went for a stroll around the Royal Mile and found a wonderfully erm .. "different" pub. There was a guy playing a guitar on stage who looked like he might burst into tears at any minute. He was bellowing out ballads with some completely unnecessary guitar solos thrown in and a large dose of angst for good measure. ( Never mind, there were some appreciative folk who looked like The Living Dead who seemed to totally feel his pain, man. )

Ahem. We headed back to the apartment for some fun of our own and later took some photos for the hell of it. Some of them were even in focus.( Actually there's one belter of my behind which I might put on my site. )

This morning we rolled out of bed and went for a full fry up and ignoring the neds who were loudly discussing those who "abuse the sick" behind us, our conversation came around to mice. ( We really do have the most bizarre conversations ). I don't mind spiders, snakes, heights etc. but if I see a mouse or worse, a rat, I'm up on the nearest available light fitting. Years ago I can remember a summer's day when we all woke up to the sound of a high pitched screech coming from the kitchen. The little mouse that had been literally "terrorising" my Mother had got himself caught in a trap. Unfortunately, he had seen it coming at the last minute and pulled back, so it was only his paw that was trapped. There were rivers of tears as we pondered what to do, my next door neighbour thought we should drop a yellow pages on him and end his misery, but in the absence of my Dad or any amount of murderous tendencies we just couldn't go through with it. In the end he just keeled over and died, probably from shock, but he was afforded a funeral in the flower bed in the back garden with full military honours. ( Well, wrapped in kitchen roll anyway ).

Speaking of cute furry creatures, the other day I was shuffling around at home and on the TV in the background I happened to notice two koalas having ( what we call in my house ) a "special cuddle". It was an amazing sight, the prospective lovers call out to each other and once he's been given the green light, the male sidles over and does his thing. After a couple of ( it must be said ) fairly impressive thrusts, when he has erm, "finished", the male rewards his female partner by sinking his teeth as hard as he can into her fur. That's feckin' gratitude for you, eh ?

Finally, once the female has freed herself from his clutches, the male climbs up to the top of the highest tree and roars to announce to all local males that he has had his wicked, furry way.

Hmmmm, perhaps we are not so far removed from the humble koala after all. ;)

Nite,

LL xx

Jubilation and Justice

Good evening and greetings from Dundee where I am chilling out in my hotel room. I am going through a myriad of emotions this evening, on one hand I am absolutely jubilant because the proposed amendments tabled by Trish Godman have been thrown out. I know it's only a matter of time until a further amendment is tabled, but for now, I am so proud of everyone who took the time to object to the proposed changes, the activists I am proud to work with , the ladies from SAAFE, the Punternet posters, all of them deserve a huge pat on the back.

This is what appeared in The Daily Record -

An attempt to criminalise people who buy sex from prostitutes was today rejected by a Holyrood committee.

Labour MSP Trish Godman had tried to win support for the proposed offence, which she argued would send a strong message and reform an "unequal" law which focuses on women.

But the Justice Committee voted against the measure, which was backed only by Labour politicians, saying the issues had not been thoroughly investigated.

In her plea to the committee, Ms Godman said: "As I speak, men are buying sex from prostitutes, men are raping women who are trafficked, they have no fear, they will never get caught because it is not an offence.

"We need to send a strong message that buying sex is not harmless or acceptable, it should be regarded in Scotland as an abuse and an exploitation which will not tolerated.

"I would argue that we owe it to all women who are victimised by prostitution to do what we can now."

Ms Godman rejected concerns that her amendment would push prostitution "indoors", saying that if men can find it, police and welfare services can as well.

Tory, SNP and Liberal Democrat committee members said they recognised the importance of the amendment but said it should not be added late to the wider overhaul of the Criminal Justice and Licensing Bill, currently at its second stage of parliamentary scrutiny.

Community Safety Minister Fergus Ewing, who was also at today's committee session, said experts had warned the proposed law could make the problem worse.

He added: "The Government is concerned about making substantial changes to the law in this difficult, complex and sensitive area, without proper consideration, consultation, with all the issues involved.

"Rushing through a major change to the law of prostitution through stage-two amendments, without any proper consultation and with very limited time for consideration, is a bad idea."

Mr Ewing said 93 submissions had been made to Parliament about the prostitution laws, compared with an earlier 90 for the entire Bill.

Independent MSP Margo MacDonald - who lodged her own amendments but opposed Ms Godman - told the committee that not all women are forced into prostitution and called for a separate investigation into any law changes.

She said: "If the intention of this committee and this Parliament is to outlaw paid-for sex between consenting adults, then you'll have to tackle that, and it will need much more information than we've got this morning."

Ms Godman's amendment was defeated by five votes to three.

So huge congratulations all 'round.

I was just beginning to relax when I discovered that Grampian and Tayside Police have taken it upon themselves to trace the movements of WG’s visiting their areas and pay them a visit. There have been several incidents brought to light over the last few days which include plain clothes police officers arriving at hotels and apartments with details of the ladies working names, sometimes photographic evidence – face pics taken from private galleries on websites.

One lady described how she opened the door presuming it was house-keeping, only to be confronted by officers of the law addressing her by her working name. The room was checked for visitors, she was asked to put her money away in front of one of them (presumably so they couldn't’t be accused of theft), asked her name, address, place of birth, husband’s name and maiden name. After a PNC radio check she was told they were aware of visitors she’d had and her comings and goings of that day. They mentioned management at the hotel had informed them.

However, what followed afterwards is most intriguing and worrying:-
“They then insisted they take a photograph of me. I was informed it was just for their file in case anything should happen to me on future visits. They mentioned they wanted to know who everyone was. This consisted of one of the officers using a video camera and him asking me to state my real name, date of birth and my working name to the camera. They then assisted me as I packed my stuff (hotel management had asked them to ask me to leave) and were very chatty and friendly asking me what I was going to do next. They politely assisted me from the building giving me a card and asking me to call if I was visiting the area again as he wanted to be made aware”

This is harassment, pure and simple. When the Police arrive at the hotel / apartment where a lady is quite legally working, what they are doing is flashing their ID and asking the managers if they would like the "prossie" removed. Of course the answer is "Yes", so a woman who has committed no crime is thrown out of a hotel in full view of other guests. NOT ACCEPTABLE. For the next couple of days I will be in deep conversation with MSP's, lawyers and activists. This underhand and quite frankly disgusting behaviour needs to stop, and now.

Hah, if you thought I would stop ranting because the proposed amendments were thrown out, you were sadly mistaken, I have found a new bug bear.

Nite,

LL xx

Bouncing and Buddies

Afternoon all, I'm boinging around the house today for several reasons, and in stark contrast to my last blog.

Firstly, my Slave Bitch has been a very good boy indeed and sent me some pressies, which arrived today. I have a new strap on, some wet and slippy lube and a new riding crop too, so I'm chuffed to bits. He has booked an extended weekend of hell at the end of April and if he thinks for one second that this means I'll go easier on him, he is sadly mistaken, har har.

Secondly, I'm finally going to get to live out one of my fantasies and next month I will be visiting Amsterdam to do so. I may tell you a bit more about that closer to the time. *winks*

The third reason I'm boinging today is tomorrow I'm off to Inverness with Amanda for two days and I can't wait to see her and have our usual nonsense and craic that we have on tour. I think one of the reasons we get on so well is that I'm completely and utterly hyper-active whilst she is so laid back she's practically horizontal, and we also have the same sense of humour, so we wind each other up to perfection. Also, tonight we're having a ladies night out in Glasgow. There are 8 or so of us ladies of negotiable virtue meeting for dinner and vino so I'm looking forward to that immensely. It will be sunglasses and lucozade on the A9 to Inverness tomorrow.

One of the ladies that's attending tonight's social is a new lady called Hannah. She came to moi via the buddy scheme and has just recently launched her site and is doing tremendously well, I'm so proud of her. It would be very easy to hate her actually because she's a tall, slender, verrrry attractive blonde lady but I can't, because she's also one of the nicest people I have had the good fortune to meet.

Here's a link to her site ;

http://www.hedonistic-hannah.co.uk./

So, next step is to get her blogging along with the rest of us, and who knows, we may offer duos in Glasgow in the future. *evil grin*

Ok, I need to go and beautify myself for tonight.

Speak to you fae Inversneckie,

LL xx

Clients and Comments

Good evening and greetings from home where I'm perched on my sofa with a cool glass of vino after an immensely brilliant day. It's hard to fathom that just two weeks ago there was a severe weather warning and trains stuck in snow. Today the sun was beaming down and everyone was smiling, ( even the Neds. )

I met a client today who was nervous as hell, because his previous pleasures have always taken place in Amsterdam, where you can literally survey before you commit. He sent me an email to say he was very impressed with my site and my blog and was willing to take a chance and book without having seen my face. ( Actually, at the time of his email arrival it was probably a good job too. )

Anyway, I'm very glad he did, and I think he is too. Because he had booked an extended lunch time appointment I suggested nibbles, so I found myself sprinting around to M & S to get some sandwiches, fruit and "real" lemonade. You know what ? I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that we sat down to have the nibbles firstly, it was a brilliant ice breaker and I'm strongly thinking about including a "lunch date" in my rates, where I provide the lunch.

Onto a more serious matter. When I became an activist, I did so with rose coloured spectacles I suppose, I thought I could have my say and there would be some who would agree and some who would disagree. What I wasn't prepared for was the level of personal insults that some people will stoop to.

The other day on the debate on "Comment is Free" on the Guardian site, I was told my chosen profession is seedy and sordid. I was also compared to excrement and told that I must have no feelings. I was able to counter all of the arguments, but I have to tell you, the one about "no feelings" got me. So, you go through all the rationalisations in your head ..

"They don't know me, they've never met me "...

"They're cyber warriors, hiding behind an internet persona " ...

..but it still stung.

Underneath this brusque and confident exterior lies a sensitive soul, as is the case with most extroverts. I need to toughen up, I know I do, far worse is ahead for us in the Scottish paid sex scene. I guess I just needed to vocalise my feelings on it. Hell, I am one of the most loving and empathetic people you could possibly meet. To suggest that just because I sell sex I am numb to all emotion is untrue, hurtful and ill-based.

Ok rant over.

Nite,

LL xx

Neds - A Survival Guide

I have what I proudly refer to as a "ned filter". ( For my Southern readers, it means 'chavs'. ) I've always been able to tell a lot from the way a guy speaks to me on the phone. Recently I was chortling out loud when I was reading Darla's blog about her initiation into Glasgae speak. Like Darla, I didn't hatch in Glasgow and so had to learn the "Weegie" lingo pretty quickly.

To be fair, I've come along way from a desire to thump a woman who called me "hen" in a night club. I thought she was calling me an ugly bird. Dear me.

"Gaunae gies a winch" - " I would really like to kiss you, would you like to kiss me?"

"Get tae f*ck" - fairly self explanatory really.

"I'm pure hoachin', so I am, no ?" - " I have a strong desire to get my hands on some more of *insert class A substance here* that has made me feel this crap, do you know what I mean ?"

"Uhhh ... Gads !! " - "That is disgusting".

"Pure hunners o' thay wans" - "There were lots of those afore mentioned items".

"Get that roonaboot ye"- "Comprehend that if you will."

"Scunnered the day" - "I'm feeling a bit under the weather this morning, probably due to an ingestion of copious amounts of Buckfast".

If you are intending to visit Glasgow, thanks to Darla I found this neat little site :

http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/

Here you can find pictures of neds and common factors to assist you with identification too. Hooped earrings are essential for the girls and baseball caps are the attire of choice for the boys. The way in which said caps are worn is essential, they must be tipped back to expose as much of the shaven head as possible, it would seem that this is an international symbol of recognition. This allows neds from other nations to safely approach and try and source some "eccies".

Actually, until today, I hadn't realised that there are categories of neds. This is from the survival guide ;

The Family Man Ned: "This ned is predominantly found outside of the city centre. This ned will usually be seen making his way down the road pushing a pram, with at least two other small children trailing behind, on his way to the DSS. These children will almost certainly be fighting with each other or throwing stones at buses and so the family man ned will usually be shouting at them. "Michela, stoap flingin stanes at Charlene". This ned is slightly older than the other neds as he will have at least three children and can be considered as a good example of what happens to a young common ned who does not grow out of neddism. A ned can become trapped inside ned circles if he gets lumbered with a "wean", turning into a family man ned, usually at the ages of 13 to 15."

Be still my beating heart.

Right, I'm off to frog march my little darling to a museum and instill some culture and education whether she likes it or not. She will join the ned fraternity over my dead body.

LL xx

Articles and Assumptions ( again )

I have spent most of today spitting feathers and with good reason. Today there appeared in The Guardian an excellent and well balanced article written by Cari Mitchell.

Here is the link :

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/apr/07/sex-work-crime-legislation?showallcomments=true#comment-51

In the article the author asked a very valuable question in relation to the role of a modern single mother - Why criminalise prostitution when 25% of single mothers are now experiencing poverty rather than 10% seven years ago ? Congratulations Harriet Harman, this is the work of your labour party, this is the legacy you have left. ( I emphasise the word "left", because if there is a God then after May, all Ms. Harperson will have to worry about is duck houses and driving offences. )

Allow me to quote from the article ;

"Are we mothers less degraded working 40 hours a week for under £5 an hour than if we make three times as much working part-time in a brothel?

Women are not ashamed of what we have to do to survive. But we are furious that those who claim to know what's best for us are ready to see us starve as long as we keep our clothes on, or put us in prison when we take them off.

Such feminism ultimately defends the market from women, rather than women from the market. Who else will benefit from the increased competition for scarce jobs, and the longer hours and starvation wages we are urged to submit to?"

*Thunderous applause*

I was so enthused to see an article that was devoted to sensible observation rather than hysterical radical statement backed up by statistics from cloud cuckoo land.

So why was I spitting feathers ? It was the comments afterwards that got my blood boiling, honestly it was like stepping back to the 1950's. Here are some of the comments aimed at sex workers, during the debate some of them were generalised and some of them were aimed at me personally ;

"My point is pretty starightforward (sic): women that commoditise themselves - who themselves become the article of transaction - reduce the status of women to objects, to be bought and sold according to the delectation of men."

My reply ;

"Good grief. Can't you at least accept that some sex workers have just a little more sense of self worth not to mention intelligence when it comes to the decisions that we make on a daily basis ? I am a sex worker and I absolutely reserve the right to say "No" or stop any booking I am unhappy with. I am not a commodity, I am a Mother, a degree student and a successful escort. I do not sell my body, I offer my skills for a fee. There's a big difference, don't you think ?

To refer to my chosen, ( yes, CHOSEN ) profession as shameful and sordid says more about you than it does about any number of sex workers. It is the continued nonsensical legislating against us combined with attitudes like yours which ensure the continuation of our marginalisation and stigma in society.

You have no right to judge me or my clients any more than I have a right to judge you. Your moral standards cannot be handed out as fact, they are an opinion and nothing more."

It got better. He came back with -

"You have every right to judge me. And I have every right to judge you. Actions should be judged - indeed, they have to be judged - in politics, in business, in personal conduct.

That is not to say those judgements should be accepted. But don't get on your soap box and tell me you're above judgement. You're not. None of us are.

I happen to think your 'CHOSEN' lifestyle is demeaning - of your sex, if not yourself. I agree it's only an opinion, but I've given my reasons for it. Just as the men who pay for sex diminish my gender, so you who provide for them diminish yours."

So, in conclusion I was told I was demeaning my fellow women ( and myself ) and my choice of employment was sordid. Actually very late on I've just checked the latest comments and this little diamond has appeared ;

"The normalising of sex 'work' is idiotic. Only those with a strong stomach or no feelings need apply. This article is cack."


Brilliant. Nice to know that those with a high intellectual ability are taking an interest in such a crucial issue. For now, I'm sitting on my hands and taking myself to bed, to do some relaxation breathing thing as recommended by my new "Zen" Mother.

Nite,

LL xx

Penises and professionalism

It's the end of a very long two days in Carnoustie. That sounds negative and I don't mean it to, I've enjoyed every minute but heavens to Murgatroyd it's been diverse. I think it's fair to say I have seen my fair share of proud male members, but nothing could have prepared me for the apparition that awaited me yesterday. It kind of veered off to one side and had a very "Err, what ?" appearance.

Ever the consummate professional,( shut it ) I said nothing but my client must have caught my sideways glance.

"Aaaah, I see you've noticed my best friend."

"NO !! Not at all, I was just checking the bedside table, it's my OCD."

"Well, it's down to an unfortunate accident I had in 1992. I caught him in the springs of a trampoline."

Many thoughts went through my mind at that moment, the most obvious being "What the very feck were you doing on a trampoline naked ? Actually, don't answer that."

He said himself and his pals were trying to dismantle said trampoline when it snapped shut very suddenly and took him with it. Ouch. I'm not a man ( obviously ), but I have to tell you I was crossing my legs at that point. Never mind, it made for some seriously interesting reverse cow girl.

Anyway, the Scottish Parliament are on their Easter break and so am I. I'll be back and available in Glasgow on Monday. A very Happy Easter to you all and enjoy the time off work.

Laura xx